The Valentine’s Day Dilemma

Creme Caramel
Men who’ve recently gotten married, or those who plan to get married soon, face a lot of pressure for Valentine’s Day. They want to do something special, but coming up with a good plan isn’t easy. If you want to have a good Valentine’s Day, you’re going to have to push us in the right direction. Otherwise, you never know what you’ll get.

First Off, Know That You Make Things Worse
When you drag your boyfriend or husband to some romantic comedy where the guy does something over the top like filling a whole room with candles, you’re making things worse. We see those movies and, because you’re swooning next to us, we think that what we see on the screen is a good idea.

Have you ever been in a room full of candles? It’s not romantic. It’s gross.

Here’s what you get when we see you getting teary over romantic comedies with this kind of romantic cheese: a lot of sweat, runny makeup, and candle wax all over your favorite dishes.

Obviously I have some experience in this area.

You can blame Hollywood if you want, but consider this. Do you think we wanted to watch Bride Wars? Do you think we even wanted to know that someone made a sequel to the Sex and the City movie?

You have only yourself to blame.

And Yet, We Need Your Help
That being said, we need your help desperately. Here’s the problem: men can’t really tell the difference between good-romantic and bad-romantic. Otherwise, we would know that a lengthy scavenger hunt leaves you more annoyed than turned on.

If your guy has half a brain, he has his ears perked for clues that you like a certain restaurant, necklace, or sweater. Just drop a hint. Most of us can take it from there. That’s why we do bonehead things that we see in romantic comedies. It’s not because we saw it on the screen. It’s because you swooned when you saw it.

If you don’t tell us what you want, then we don’t know what to do.

I’m sorry. I apologize. But it’s the truth. We’re not like that Will Smith character that somehow always knows what a woman wants.

We don’t read minds. We can’t even read Cosmo without getting distracted by the pictures.

Having a Good Valentine’s Day

Keeping these things in mind, I’ve come up with a few proposals (not that kind) that could potentially make your Valentine’s Day good. Maybe not great, but good.

Men: learn to pay attention to your mate. Also, try to see the difference between good-romantic and bad-romantic. Do you really want a woman who does all of the things like the girl in that website you only visit with “privacy mode” on? (Think before you answer “yes” to that question.) OK, so now you have some understanding of why you get mixed messages from rom-coms. They’re fantasies that you shouldn’t always recreate in actual life.

Women: don’t rely on your guy to know things he can’t possibly know. And stop sending mixed messages without some way to decode them. If you get wistful while watching a movie, but you don’t want him to actually reproduce the scene, say something straightforward like… “that’s so romantic. Never do that.” Otherwise, you get what you ask for.

Posted by Matt T.