Catching Flowers Like a Boss

"The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle" - Author unknown

I've never really been into sports.

I mean, I do yoga, I swim, and if sunbaking is a sport, then yes....I qualify for the next Olympics.

But in terms of competitive sports? Forget it. In fact, the last time I participated in anything competitive post-mandatory high-school gym classes was when I wrestled the remote control out of to-be's husband's hands because I really needed to watch Keeping up with the Kardashians.

Yes, I watch the Kardashians. Don't judge, I like their shoes.

Anyway, while the Olympics were going on last week (and my wedding day getting closer and closer), I was a little more motivated to work out. And boy, did that walk to the mailbox tire me out. Just kidding, I've been sweating it out at the gym over the past week, and while I don't notice any visible difference yet, I just feel better.

The true test came just this past Saturday at my girlfriend's wedding. We ate, drank, and were pretty darn merry.

And then it happened. The announcement of the bouquet toss.

So, back in ye 'ole Europe or somewhere in that corner of the world in medieval days, the bride's dress was considered to be some kind of lucky charm for other women. A symbol of fertility, if you will. After the wedding, the bride would be chased by the single women in town, and her dress would be literally ripped off her body, leaving her in tatters and probably some very old school looking underwear you wouldn't find in a Victoria's Secret catalogue.

Over the years, as wedding dresses became more and more expensive, it became a tradition for women to actually keep them (and wear them at home every now and then...I've seen my mom do it when she thinks no one's home), and pass down to her daughter for her wedding day.

To stop women from tearing up her dress at the end of the night, the bride started throwing other objects to distract her guests and through time, the bouquet became the standard object thrown. Tradition says the lucky girl who catches the bouquet is next to get married.

I myself had never really been into such a silly tradition. I used to tell myself that I thought it was just plain awkward to get in there and fight over flowers, but in truth, I was really unfit and didn't stand a chance.

Not anymore! With my one week of hardcore training, I was going all in!

I stood in line with the other competitors, each of us laughing and giggling but secretly glaring each other down.

The bride turned her back on us. I felt my body tense. The girl next to me went into a Crouching tiger, Hidden dragon stance, ready to leap.

The bride raised the bouquet and threw it high in the air over her shoulder, in a perfect arc. I watched as it flew up, suspended momentarily at its peak before descending back down to Earth (and a dozen odd pairs of outstretched arms), and we all lept like some kind of synchronised swim team.

I got some serious vertical lift in that jump, reaching out my arms for the bunch of flowers.

Of course I totally didn't catch it. As fit as I had become after that week in the gym, I'm still terribly uncoordinated. I slinked back to my table, where my to-be husband gave me a pity hug.

"Don't worry, you already have me," he said. "Besides, it's my cousin's wedding in 3 weeks, you can try again then."

Be right back, ladies, gotta go do some push-ups. I have a bouquet to catch.

Posted by Jacqueline H.