How to Handle a Bridesmaidzilla
Most people are familiar with the term Bridezilla, referring to an overly-anxious and controlling bride, but Bridesmaidzillas are becoming more and more prevalent. Just as some brides become a bit more difficult than usual with the stress of planning a wedding, a friend's wedding can bring out the worst in some bridesmaids. Bridesmaidzillas want the wedding to be planned their way, and they may throw tantrums over dress choice, shower plans, or any other number of wedding details. What is a bride to do if one of her best friends is causing conflict left and right?
Sometimes, a Bridesmaidzilla is pleasant to the bride, but horrible to other girls in the party. By talking to the bridesmaids one-on-one, you can find out if rifts are forming among the group, and put a stop to problems before they get out of control. Plan a coffee or lunch date with each of your bridesmaids every few weeks to stay in touch with the individual members of your wedding party.
What is the Real Issue?
When a bridesmaid is causing problems, her attitude is most likely a sign of an underlying issue. Is she angry because she wasn't chosen as the Maid of Honor? Is she jealous because she isn't married? Does she simply not enjoy participating in weddings?
The best way to handle a Bridesmaidzilla is to have an honest discussion about what is bothering them. Approach them in a concerned, rather than accusatory, tone. Be sure to communicate the problems that you have been having with them, and ask them to respect your wedding day plans. The discussion may help them realize that they have been putting a lot of unnecessary stress on you, and that you do care about their friendship.
When All Else Fails
There are some women that will continue to be a Bridesmaidzilla, even after a heartfelt chat. In these cases, it may be best to cut the Bridezmaidzilla out of the party. This can be a tough decision to make, but it may be preferable to having an unpredictable person present on the big day. Some Bridesmaidzillas have ruined weddings by shouting instructions to the bride as she walks down the isle, acting erratically towards guests, or by purposely making things difficult for the bride, such as ruining her dress.
Bridesmaids who mean well can usually be turned around with a heart-to-heart discussion, but those who do not have your best interest in mind will continue to cause problems. Weddings tend to put a spotlight on friendships between the bride and her bridesmaids, and unfortunately, not all survive. If you have to let go of a Bridesmaidzilla, be direct and honest. You may have ended up with a Bridesmaidzilla, but you don't have to let her ruin your special day.
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Posted by Anna K.