The Proper Way to Not Invite Someone to Your Wedding
Every wedding has a budget, and as such, it isn't always possible to include every family member, friend, and acquaintance on the guest list. Aside from budget concerns, there may be people that simply aren't welcome at the event due to interpersonal problems. Whatever the reason, it may be necessary to not invite certain people to a wedding, but how does one do this without causing hurt feelings?
Be Direct
Lying will often backfire, so don't tell people that they will be invited if they will not be receiving an invitation. Instead, explain the situation in a way that makes sense. Most people will understand if budget or venue size don't allow for a huge guest list. Another way to politely let someone know why they haven't been invited to your wedding is to explain that you are only inviting your closest friends and family members to create an intimate atmosphere. The majority of people will handle the news well when presented in a constructive way, especially if you include a genuine apology for not being able to invite the person. Something as simple as, “I'm sorry. We would love for everyone to come, but it just isn't realistic.” will suffice.
Excluding Children
Many couples want an adult-only wedding, but struggle with how to invite parents while politely excluding children. Addressing invitations only to the adults is one way to accomplish this, and the point can be further made on the RSVP cards by reiterating the number guests that will be attending. Some prefer to add “adult reception,” or similar wording to the invitations, to communicate that the wedding will be an adult-only event. Keep in mind that while excluding children from a wedding can make for a simpler evening, many guests will choose not to attend if they cannot bring their kids.
Choose Wisely
Not inviting someone to your wedding can be the right decision, but one that can be difficult to make. Before choosing to exclude someone from your wedding, be sure that you are doing it for the right reasons. Many people carry hurt feelings from not being invited to family events for years afterwards, so be sure to choose your guest list wisely. For those that you have to encounter on a regular basis, such as close family members, it may be easier to let bygones be bygones, and graciously allow the person in question to attend your wedding.
When letting people know that they won't be coming to your wedding, don't forget to apologize. After all, if the person is showing interest that means that they care about you enough to want to share the most important day of your life with you. With a little bit of careful planning and tact, you can have a perfect guest list, while still maintaining all of your friendships.
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