Turning Up to Weddings Alone
Flying Solo Ain't So Bad
By Jacqueline H.
December 14, 2011
“For Miranda, the only thing worse than being Charlotte’s 34-year old bridesmaid, was being a 34-year old bridesmaid without a date.” – Sex and the City, Season 3, Ep 12.
In a world where women like to sing from the rooftops about their independence from men, it is still an irrational fear for many of us to turn up to a wedding without a date. Sitting alone in a restaurant? Sure. Shopping or watching a movie by your lonesome? No problemo.
But apparently, the thought of turning up to a wedding dateless is unthinkable.
Before the recession, I’d find myself sobbing a little on the inside each time I needed to RSVP to a wedding as ‘just me’. I actually got flashbacks of my senior prom, where I had turned up sans date, and pretty much condemned my social life to the gallows for the remainder of the year.
I'm sure you've seen it before. At most weddings, there will always be the pack of ‘single men’ who purposely don’t bring dates so they can be free to roam on the hunting grounds. These men were mostly considered creepy and sleazy, and unfortunately, girls found on the same field came off as desperate and needy.
While the recession left me fearing for my job, it managed to bring me some form of happiness. Firstly, with everybody trying to cut costs somehow, I’m no longer receiving wedding invites with those offensive words: ‘Jacqueline plus one’. Secondly, it only means that the there is an increase of invites going out to ‘Male guest’, also without the plus one.
Gone are the days of desperately ploughing through your little black book [or in my case, a napkin] in search of a date, or sitting at a table full of couples as the 7th or 9th wheel. Instead, use the opportunity to mingle with all the other singles.
At a wedding I attended a while back, I found myself seated at what was clearly the ‘singles’ table. A table like this back in the day would be comparable to an island of lepers, with each guest awkwardly navigating their way through a myriad of conversation topics drier than a martini.
Instead, we all laughed and embraced the single-gal/single-guy in us. None of the guys gave off creepy vibes and in fact, I even met someone who I ended up getting engaged to. But that's another story in itself.
Weddings are longer forbidden playgrounds just for men, but now a perfect chance to meet other people, and let’s face it. When’s a better time to meet someone when you’re all drunk off the celebration of love (and probably more so from the martinis)?
So, ladies, no more wallowing in the corners alone. The glass is half-full, I say! Actually, no. Comment retracted. The glass should be empty, with another glass on it’s way ;)
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