Wedding Planning for Dudes
Yesterday you heard Jacqueline's take on wedding planning with the groom. Here's the male perspective!
Just because a guy is ready to commit to you for life doesn't mean that he's ready to plan a wedding. In a man's mind, these are two completely separate things. Yes, he loves you, but he doesn't necessarily love picking out flowers with you. When you need to get your man motivated, sometimes you have to bight the bullet. At other times, though, you can gently cajole him into doing more than he thinks he can.
Find Tasks that He's Good At
Men like doing things that they're good at, which usually means they try to avoid things that they're bad at. He'll spend all afternoon setting up the grill, but he moans pathetically when it's time to wash the dishes. The key with wedding planning is to find something that he's good at and make those things his responsibility.
Is your fiancé a people person? If so, have him follow up on those RSVPs that were never returned. Make a list and have him call people to find out whether they'll join you on your wedding day.
Does he have an artistic side? Ask him to work on invitation designs so you'll have some good ideas before you start shopping around.
If he likes tinkering in his woodshop, then perhaps he can make a cake stand from a tree stump or build a gazebo so you can say your vows in a special place that only belongs to the two of you.
If you're at a loss, make a list of things that you need done. Give him the list and ask him which items he'd like to do. That way, he feels more in control and he can apply his particular talents to planning the wedding.
Power Through the Tough Parts
Some parts are going to be tough, so you'll just have to power through and make it work as well as you can. Setting the guest list, for instance, is one of the most stressful parts for many couples. You can make it more bearable by ordering take out and having a bottle of wine with dinner. Just make sure you stick to one or two glasses each so you don't have a fight over whether Aunt Mildred gets to bring that dog of hers (she can't, so it's not worth arguing about).
You can also make things easier on your man (and yourself) by taking time out for fun activities. Set aside a Saturday morning to finish your wedding registry, but plan to stop halfway through to play putt-putt or eat at one of your favorite restaurants. That way, the day becomes about more than just wedding planning, and you can both get much-needed downtime that will help you make smarter decisions instead of getting snippy with each other.
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